So I've been working on math, haven't yet finished that first assignment, but getting there. I have found that I am a bit deficient in some of the precalc knowledge that I think will be quite handy come exam time. So instead of finishing Up the first chapter, I'm going through a couple of the appendices in the back of the textbook to brush up on old knowledge. This is what has set me back a little. The appendices have dozens of questions at the end of each section as well, so I'm of course going to do those too. Hopefully this will be a good base. I'll supplement with Khan Academy at some point too.
It's strange to think it's been it's been over 8 years since I successfully completed a math course. I've registered a couple times, but never finished the courses. I also failed it in first semester of first year way back when, along with the other courses. I'm thankful for my life and happy now, but sometimes I wonder what could have been. Where would I be right now if things had been different?
I know thinking like this doesn't get me anywhere. It's just things are a lot more difficult in my basic science courses. If I can pass math and chemistry next month, it'll be my first completed science courses since the fall of 2011 (if you go by the USA definition of BCMP). These online science classes are very solitary. Just given the last decade of my life, it made me wonder if I should leave all this medicine stuff behind. It makes me sad just thinking about leaving. But as I look around, I'm realizing and thinking to myself, Hey, I've been here before...
-I had troubles excelling in my grade school courses. What did I do? I put more honest time and effort in and I performed quite well, for how new the whole studying lifestyle was to me. Along with this I became so close with my friends who had similar goals. I would describe my high school career as incredible.
-I had troubles with university. What did I do? After a certain amount of attempts, I said enough is enough and took a 1 year break. I returned to school in one calendar year and I I knew this was my last shot to keep the dream alive. I registered in 3 humanities courses and got the best grades I ever received. Also around this time I met a girl I loved and even though we aren't together anymore I have no regrets.
So many other things have happened in my life where I thought I was down and out but I just keep coming back. I was actually on my deathbed once. Maybe I'll post about it one day but no guarantees. This along with other less major setbacks in my life have shaped who I am. I just have this chip on my shoulder and a never say die attitude. My life or death experience was actually incredible. If I can fight my way through death and come back alive, all this other stuff is pretty enjoyable. My life or death experience is actually what convinced me and sealed the deal that I should try to go to medical school.
I know that I will persevere and do everything to give myself a shot at MD schools. I have the time and motivation. I just think some doubts arise in the environment of a premed. For example basically all of my good friends have considered the idea of pursuing medical school, but not one of them still is. I think if things are getting difficult, sometimes you just need a reminder of why you wanted that thing in the first place. You probably weren't wrong the first time...
Anyways, things were feeling tough but I feel a lot better after writing this. I think a question I could ask myself is, am I really trying my best right now?. If the answer is no, then the action is simple, try harder. Try the absolute hardest you could ever try at something. I mean we only have so many days on this earth. This is an idea that has resonated with me from a beautiful poem. I will share the poem soon on here soon. It's lovely because it reminds me why things in life are important.
Definitely going to get back at those math problems. Talk Soon!
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